With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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