community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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