Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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