i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
