i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
