He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize