Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
