This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize