white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
