He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize