I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im six kinds of drunk right now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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