Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
