Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
