Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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