i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
