there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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