i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
