the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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