Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
