Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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