Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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