maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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