Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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