Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize