Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
