He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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