I just saw a hot homeless man
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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