I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
