I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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