We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
