is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
