So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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