absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
time to smoke my breakfast
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize
