would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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