chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
