to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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