I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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