Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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(717): If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone. http://tfl.nu/j92l

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(415): View more from California

I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

(512): View more from Texas

Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

(415): View more from California

Watch for tornadoes.

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(415): I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana? (512): Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought. (415): Watch for tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/7qwf

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.

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(412): I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers. http://tfl.nu/htrv

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(314): View more from Missouri

just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college

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(314): just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college http://tfl.nu/eu7q

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(512): View more from Texas

I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

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(512): I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking http://tfl.nu/def8

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(212): View more from New York

ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

(1-212): View more from New York

this is Aaron, hi

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(212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd

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(562): View more from California

the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

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(562): the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon... http://tfl.nu/do0i

Replies (94) Good night (20300) Bad night (1696)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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(781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy

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(604): View more from British Columbia

the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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(604): the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/g0q9

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.

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(+44): We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in. http://tfl.nu/xqye

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."

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(201): A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore." http://tfl.nu/zlen

Replies (22) Good night (3579) Bad night (1637)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.

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(780): Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex. http://tfl.nu/0kw1

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(351): View more from Massachusetts

I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.

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(351): I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh. http://tfl.nu/v1ee

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(778): View more from British Columbia

they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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(778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653

Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (740)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.

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(307): Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me. http://tfl.nu/8ybs

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