Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

wtf. i just found you're porn stash.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

u like it?

(937): View more from Ohio

NOT THE POINT.

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(636): View more from Missouri

this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

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(410): View more from Maryland

she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he tried to breastfeed my turtle

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(845): View more from New York

you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively

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(206): View more from Washington

I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug

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(330): View more from Ohio

Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.

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