I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
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I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.