Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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  (949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1284) Bad night (1838)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth

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  (860): He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3n80
  Replies (54) Good night (774) Bad night (10487)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?

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  (703): My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned? http://tfl.nu/h3av
  Replies (21) Good night (1090) Bad night (5454)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??

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  (812): Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days?? http://tfl.nu/olry
  Replies (35) Good night (1598) Bad night (3903)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?

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  (570): i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it? http://tfl.nu/x3ze
  Replies (4) Good night (2759) Bad night (909)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down

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  (303): We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down http://tfl.nu/easv
  Replies (12) Good night (4436) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp

  (1-650): View more from California

  i loe djcudia fjxos rue.

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  (650): Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp (1-650): i loe djcudia fjxos rue. http://tfl.nu/pfpy
  Replies (15) Good night (2893) Bad night (1257)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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  (517): This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/9rmg
  Replies (5) Good night (1602) Bad night (711)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  This is a rough morning for me

  (577): View more from

  No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.

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  (630): This is a rough morning for me (577): No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma. http://tfl.nu/q4hk
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (1230)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.

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  (201): This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw. http://tfl.nu/lq9h
  Replies (7) Good night (815) Bad night (1133)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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  (614): It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me http://tfl.nu/sahk
  Replies (19) Good night (2011) Bad night (659)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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  (281): Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy. http://tfl.nu/smj8
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?

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  (330): I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit? http://tfl.nu/uql2
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (376)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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  (952): Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis http://tfl.nu/o9uq
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN

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  (267): MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN http://tfl.nu/0zjw
  Replies (6) Good night (157) Bad night (433)

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