she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
