Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
only if we run a train.
done.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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