Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i think im in europe. pls send help
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
