i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
