Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
