You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm too high and old for this...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
