Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
