Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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