Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
