Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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