So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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