youre lurking in front of me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
