Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
