Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
