i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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