she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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