listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize