Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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