i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
