WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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