Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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