No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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