We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo