I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!