If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
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I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.