just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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