I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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